As global markets wait for keynote utterances, whether from Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke in Jackson Hole in the next 24 hours, from the ECB President Mario Draghi on the 6th September or from the German Constitutional Court on the 12th September concerning the legal framework of the European Stability Mechanism, there is a sense of profound procrastination. Policymakers claim to be waiting for a trigger for action from economic data but even the numbers are, by default, ‘kicking the can down the road’ as they emerge like pixels either side of a trendline that appears not to justify immediate stimulative action. Meanwhile, the silent killer is Time as all our futures dissipate off into the sunset.

While markets have become overly used to seeing a few billion being thrown here and there to shore up this or that economy, another chunky financial situation has been steadily trundling towards its denouement . At its heart is a discrepancy in valuation of almost £12 billion. The commodities trading group Glencore is offering 2.8 of its own shares, currently standing at £3.70 (down 3.7% so far this morning) , for every share of the mining group Xstrata, now quoted at £9.16 (-2.5%). Based on Glencore’s current market capitalisation of £25.6 billion, this would give Xstrata an aggregate valuation of £71.7 billion. However, at the current market prices, the implied ratio is just 2.5 times and the discount reflects uncertainty about whether the deal will go through.

The old rhyme ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’ was a forerunner of the more recent ‘5 a day ‘ campaign to encourage a healthier fruit and vegetable diet in Britain. However, following the recent court ruling in favour of Apple Inc over Samsung it is more a case of ‘an Apple a day keeps the Androids away’. From its recent high two weeks ago of Won 1.348 million or US$ 1,187 – and you thought the Apple share price at $675 was ‘heavy’! – Samsung’s share price has fallen by 11% around the award of $1 Billion in damages to Apple. Meanwhile, the share price of Apple has marched on to a new all-time high – now up 67% year-to-date. Another beneficiary of the ruling could be Finland’s Nokia whose shares rose 7.7% on Monday on the possibility of reduced competition in the U.S. smartphone market.

Have you ever been to a wedding where, as much as you want to wish the happy couple well, you don’t feel deep down that it is going to work out for them but you can’t intervene? Certainly, if you want to survive the cake-cutting ceremony intact, you might just keep smiling and sipping the champagne. After ten years of ‘pre-marriage’ by the members of the Eurozone , markets have been hoping that a true marriage (joint responsibility, mutual respect, shared use of the Ferrari and the au pair, you know, the usual things) is in sight, subject to a few tweaks.

One of the highlights of the comedy series ‘Blackadder’ was Rowan Atkinson’s manservant, Baldrick, having a ‘cunning plan’ – invariably doomed to spectacular failure. There was a hint of this yesterday as Eurozone leaders hunkered down for a week of intense negotiations to try to establish a framework for resolving the recurrent problems facing the monetary ‘union’. Weekend press comment in Germany had suggested that the European Central Bank, in order to moderate borrowing costs for the weaker Eurozone members, was considering introducing a system of sovereign bond yield thresholds (calculated with reference to yields on German bunds) which, once reached, would trigger bond purchases by the ECB. This prompts again the unavoidable question of who will fund this potentially bottomless pit.

It seems that Lewis Carroll had it sussed all along. Some of the mindset of markets in recent weeks has come from central casting in the ‘ Alice’ books. Most recently, it has felt that markets are in a kind of ‘Looking Glass World’ as bad news has been good news and good news not too good to qualify as bad for the purposes of stimulus. From ‘Wonderland’, early-stage crisis meetings of the Eurozone leaders sometimes felt like the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party although that is not to diminish the size of the problem the politicians face or to belittle their efforts.

Fresh from her hiking holiday in Austria’s South Tyrol, Germany’s Chancellor Angela Merkel has resurfaced in Ottawa, reiterating the on-message Euro-mantra ‘whatever it takes’ (to save the Euro) and praising Canada for not living on borrowed money. Cue firmer equity markets in Europe this morning. The FTSE 100 Index is up 0.2% so far after closing flat on Thursday. Comments such as this from Mrs Merkel carry great weight for supporters of the Euro project but it glosses over the open-ended obligations implied and the cost in terms of her political capital at home. Certainly, ‘saving the Euro’ does not appear to preclude the possibility of Greece’s departure, however disruptive this might be.

It may feel like the wrong time of the year for Murder Mystery weekends but the current intrigue around why recent U.K.’s employment numbers look so much stronger than the weak state of the economy would suggest is quite a hot topic de jour. While it may not compete with the Olympics or property prices at dinner parties, depending on which part of Britain you happen to live in given the large discrepancy that has built up in London’s favour versus the rest of the country or whether dinner parties are still fashionable, the issue has prompted the media to beat the bushes in search of anyone who might know. Last night, our television screens glowed with the image of the Bank of England’s own version of ‘Mr Bean’ – definitely not to be confused with comedian Rowan Atkinson’s bumbling alter ego. It was to be a defining moment as all was about to be revealed by the Bank’s Deputy Governor,’Charlie’ Bean. In the event, the awful truth appears to be that no one really knows. Cue much verbal reassurance by Mr Bean that the people at the Bank of England are working hard, beaver-like, to unlock this Fustian riddle. Apart from possible errors in the statistics resulting in understated economic activity or overstated employment or, indeed, a dramatic fall-off in productivity, it would seem most likely that what we are witnessing is ‘resource hoarding’ by employers as they hang onto experienced staff in anticipation of an upturn in business. Will the real statistical quirk please stand up!

Fifty shades of… sublety, whatever your literary tastes, perhaps just about begins to describe the recent flow of economic data from the Eurozone. Better-than-expected Q2 over Q1 growth from Germany of 0.3% was moderated by ‘null points’ for France for the second successive quarter, Netherlands unchanged at 0.2% Q2-over-Q1, Italy -0.7% against -0.8% but further deterioration in Spain (-0.4% in Q2 against -0.3%) and Portugal from -0.1% to -1.2%. The net effect was a decline of 0.2% in Q2 for the Eurozone countries as a bloc against zero growth in Q1. Unfortunately, the implications are far from subtle and, although equity markets in Europe closed around 0.7% higher yesterday on what looked like encouraging figures out of Germany, they have been giving back the gains so far today. The underlying message would seem to be ‘no growth – no hope’ , at least, not for a very long time.

Continuing the perverse contradiction that has been apparent in markets for several months, the news announced this morning that second quarter GDP growth for Germany has ‘not slowed as much as was feared it would’ has prompted a rally in European market indices. Welcome to the ‘win-win’ investment scenario where the potentially bad news is not as bad as expected even though it could represent a case for less Central Bank stimulus being required. Meanwhile, reflecting the more standard form of response, minutes from the Bank of Japan’s last policy meeting which revealed a Draghi-type ‘whatever it takes’ resolve to boost the economy has elicited a positive response from markets in Asia this morning (+0.5%).

So the party’s over but we’re not talking Coalition Party – just yet. As London and the nation at large eases back to normality, thoughts must turn from the excellence displayed in the various Olympic arenas back to the struggles on the global and economic fronts. The jury remains out on the longer term cost benefits for Britain of staging the Games – ‘The Legacy’ – but, thankfully, the human qualities on display far outweighed mere material considerations. It would be naive to ignore the linkage between levels of national investment into Olympic sports and the outcome. Some countries have yet to fully engage with the relationship between notable success every four years and the potential benefits of enhanced national prestige. Given London’s remarkably large medal tally from the past fortnight, with the support of investment from the National Lottery as well as successive governments’ funding , it raises the issue of whether we are about to witness a more widespread sports ‘Arms Race’ as we have in the past between the Superpowers, China, the former Soviet Union and the United States. Whilst, undoubtedly, this would create new and huge commercial opportunities in many different ways, it has to be hoped that this will not feed the degree of cynicism that has crept into other international sports such as football and motor racing as the levels of funding have risen over the years.

Sometimes the sequence of news stories throws up curious coincidences. As the Jamaican ‘MegaSprinta’ Usain Bolt was powering his way into Legend status by defending his 200 metres Olympics running title, having already successfully defended his Beijing title in the 100 metres sprint days earlier, the Glazer family was about to raise $233 million in New York trading today in an Initial Public Offer for 10% of the shares of football club, Manchester United. When asked where his career might go next, the ‘Lightnin’ Bolt said that, if the manager of Manchester United Sir Alex Ferguson were to call him, he might consider football. While there may be some doubt about the seriousness of Usain’s suggestion, there can be no doubt that the Glazer’s have had a struggle to achieve anything close to the value they originally wanted for their shares. Personally, I am not sure that Mr Bolt could last too long in ‘sunny’ Manchester after growing up in Jamaica but a ‘marriage’ could be great for match attendance levels and for sales of merchandise. Perhaps the Glazers, themselves, should make a dash for the Olympic Park.

The paradigm now clearly lodged in the psyche of the markets is ‘it’s bad news so it’s good news’. I hesitate to use the term paradox because it is hard to see where the common sense is in this. It’s an issue of timing. The bad news, generally historic data, reflects how things have been while the current tendency to interpret this positively is based on expecting the implementation of measures which will borrow from the future. It’s a perpetuation of the ‘never-never’ philosophy that created much of the present economic problems – ‘live now, pay later’ although, thanks to the austerity, it’s more a case of ‘survive now – pay later’. Markets typically discount the future but it is interesting to see which part of the future they choose to focus on to discount. Currently, equity buyers are making a big bet that that the stimulus measures that will presumably eventually ride to the rescue of the global economy will be strong enough to kick-start economies back into rude health and generating the level of growth needed to repay debt. The fact that bond yields are still so low indicates that, for many investors, the situation is far from clear cut.

At twenty-two Olympic gold medals, Team GB is only an incredible eight medals behind the United States at the end of only day 11 of the Games. What becomes apparent quite quickly is the depth of organisation and focus that has been applied in many of the particularly successful disciplines. At that point, the fantasy fades as we turn back to the state of the United Kingdom economy which is not even medalling at Bronze. Today, the Bank of England is to release its Quarterly Inflation report and it is widely expected to show a downward revision for 2012 GDP of its forecast in May 2012 of 0.8% to virtually nil. If that doesn’t dampen the Olympics party spirit then nothing will. The slowdown in the Eurozone economies must be identified as part of the problem although the present austerity programme, intended in part to protect Britain’s triple-A credit rating, must also take some of the blame. With the inflationary trend expected to continue lower, it is likely that a cut in interest rates will again come under consideration along with other monetary measures to try to boost the economy. As a start, the Bank might think about powering things up by connecting Sir Chris Hoy and his team in the cycling events directly to the National Grid.